Hi! I am Brooke. I am the chubbie one. I am the chubbie friend, the chubbie daughter, the chubbie bridesmaid. I have spent half my life worried about my weight and how I look, feeling uncomfortable with myself, never doing anything about it. I tug on my shirts, my bras, yank up my pants trying to keep clothes that don't fit well comfortable. I am the queen of self depricating comments. If you and I can laugh together about my 6 month pregnant-esque babyless belly than I won't feel like you are judging me. I am tired of that being a defining charaterstic of who I am.

After years and years of saying I need to do something, I am actually going to do it. I am going to become healthy. I am going to get in shape. I am going to not need blood pressure medication. I am not going to need hormones to help regulate my PCOS. I am wanting a different out come in my life and the first thing I have to do is be the change. I am not doing this to become rail thin with 3% body fat. I am, in some ways, very happy with the curves I have. I am not happy with my energy level or my dependency on medications to regulate my body. I am starting this blog as a way to not only chronicle my struggles but to be my motivation and hopefully, inspiration too. I am writing about it as a way to hold myself accountable. I also want it to be something tangible for me to look at to see progress and goals. There will be tough days but I am hoping that there will be wonderful days ahead too. Through the good the bad and the ugly. I will be honest about what I am doing and feeling. I am a mom and wife. I love them dearly but this is not about that. This is all for me. I am doing this so I can look in the mirror and not feel the failure or the negative emotions I have for so long. I want to love myself for the first time in my life. Inside and out.
Please join me on my adventure.

The Beginning:
I am weighing in at (deep breath) 238 at 5 foot 2 inches that puts my BMI at 43.6 making me obese in all the eyes of every health professional everywhere. I have signed up at Spark People and entered all my stats and will try to track eating and exercise there too. They have listed my goal weight as 188 by Januaray 22, 2013. 50 pounds in a year. Game on.

Now this part is the hardest part for me to share with you. The picture. I'd almost rather die than share this nessacary evil. Here is the fat and honest truth.
I can barely look at that picture. So unflattering. So honest. This is how I look. This is me. That look on my face says it all. Shame. Embarrasement. It has to change.

I am not a professional dietician, nutritionist, trainer, or fitness expert (clearly). I am not having any type of surgery. I will not use any fad diet, pill, shake, serums that claim weight loss. Especially not without extensive reserach. I am using hard work, dedication, goals, and my own research to achieve a better well being. I am changing my lifestyle so I can be the best me I can.